Saturday, January 20, 2007

Praying for Vision

There's something incredible about mothers. They have this insatiable desire to be selfless, giving, and abounding with love. Even though I'm happily married and adult-ish (this notion has been heavily debated between JD and me due to my urges of jumping on the bed and still watching cartoon movies), I immediately become a puddle of helplessness when my mom is around. Seriously, if she offered to cut the food on my plate, I'd easily oblige.

As I've mentioned on my blog before, my mother battled brain cancer and eye cancer while I was in college and law school and while she's technically in remission, her health is extraordinarily fragile. She has a rare autoimmune disease called Relapsing Polychondritis that pretty much attacks the cartilage portions of her body (ears, nose, parts of her eyes, etc) and is currently undergoing chemotherapy. Watching her suffer for so long--it's been a six-year battle--has taken a toll on my family, but it's also caused us to rally together in my mom's time of need. At while it may not seem like much, our dinner arguments have been stymied to brief squabbles over who drank the last of the Perrier and we try not to make fun of each other as much. Ahem, we try anyway.

Through her ordeal, my mom has remained optimistic and a pillar of strength. Sometimes when I see her struggle, I begin to cry. Instead of comforting her in her time of greatest need, she's the one soliciting words of faith and hope. She's truly amazing.

Last night, while sitting in the wooden bleachers of a high school gymnasium, my family cheered on my brother during his basketball game. When the team took a time-out, she leaned over to me and said she saw my recent engagement session on my blog (besides JD, my mother is my biggest fan) and said she was praying for me. Uh, thanks?, I replied to her statement unsure if she thought my work was so unbearable only divine assistance could improve my work. No, Jasmine, I've been praying that God would give you the type of eye you desire...that your vision and your photography can be equal to each other, my mother said.

I stifled a sob and thanked her. Then the buzzer rang and the teams resumed playing.

My mother, who almost lost her eyesight to cancer and still struggles to keep it, is praying for MY eyes. I was emotionally choked by the irony. My mother is selfless, giving and abounding with love. I don't ever truly know if my vision and my photography will every truly align, but knowing that she's sacrificially praying on my behalf is more than I could ever ask.

**This is actually a picture of my twin sister and my mom...I couldn't find a recent picture of me and my mom, so I just a picture of someone who looks like me and my mom. Ahhh, the perks of having a twin! :)

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13 Comments:

Blogger Shyla said...

There is no question where you get your awesomeness from Jazzy. Not only are you beautiful ( just like your momma...she is BEAUTIFUL) but you have that same sweet care for others. I still remember the words she told you to pass along to me... tell her I havent forgotten! :)
I could only hope to be that for my own children someday. Thank you for giving us an indside look at your amazing family.
It is no doubt that the strong solid foundation they laid will allow you tower above the rest without waivering.
What an inpiration!!!!

12:23 PM  
Blogger Mike said...

I often come to visit here, and am treated to so many different things, so many aspects of life, through your writings and images! Your writing this time touches my heart, you have such an awesome family! I pray blessings for your mom, your family, and yourself, for its obvious to me how much you all give to one another and to others in this world!

6:29 PM  
Blogger Grace Kim said...

Truly beautiful . . . mothers, you, your mother. :) I lost my brother to cancer 4 years ago so I can relate to your family's hardship. How precious and fragile life is. Thank goodness for our faith!

3:31 AM  
Blogger One Blank Canvas said...

Jaz --- That's sooo awesome!!! I loved reading this post and I actually made me cry. I'm secure in my manliness that way ;)

It was soo sweet... I actually have cataracts and have gone trhough multiple operations since I was five years old, so I kinda know what it is like struggling with eyesight... but God has given me a great deal to be thankful for!

My mom once told me about a friend of hers that had eye problems from birth (I can't remember the exact diagnosis) and had a experimental operation that could give him his sight back... He ended up having the operation and a few days after he was able to see! Then later that night, he went to sleep and woke up the next morning blind again... I was sooo heartbroken for him... I was actually able to talk to him a few years ago and he told me he was so thankful for that one day that God had given him. The thing he said he was most thankful for was seeing how beautiful God's sunsets were!

I think sometimes even with my eye problems I tend to take things for granted... Made me be very thankful that I still have my eyesight!

P.S. BTW, I had an awesome time talking to your sister last week... She's awesome! Oh and I have a new blog at http://www.blankcanvasstudios.wordpress.com

Come by and check it out!

8:55 AM  
Blogger Jasmine said...

Hi friends...your words mean so very, very much to me. I started this blog to document my life, so hearing about YOUR lives moves me in new ways. Thanks for taking the time to comment...it makes the world a smaller place knowing people take the time to care.

10:24 AM  
Blogger 6 of Four Creations said...

I know what it is like to have your mother as your biggest fan. I try to notice it and appreciate her devotion and support. I can tell you do the same. I was so tender reading your blog then I realized that it was your sister in the pictures and I started to laugh. ;)

love it.

1:49 PM  
Blogger Cameron Ingalls said...

Jasmine....
I will be praying for your mother during this battle. I love that when we are weakest Christ's love shines through the strongest. May Christ be glorified through your mother and may we be challenged and changed through her.

6:19 PM  
Blogger Liana said...

Awww. Your whole family amazes me. I'm really at a loss of words Jazzy but what an awesome moment you must have had up there in the bleachers and every day with her. Prayers for you all always :) Muaah!

7:50 PM  
Blogger Captivating Studios said...

Awwww... man, now you got me all teary eyed.

"Instead of comforting her in her time of greatest need, she's the one soliciting words of faith and hope. She's truly amazing."

I can't say in words how much I related to this statement, and that's where my eyes started watering. I saw the same example of strength through my own mom's cancer journey. Moms truly are a shining example of God's glory and His love for us. I wish our mom's could meet. Like you and your sister, they sound like long lost twin soul sisters.

9:42 PM  
Blogger Ricki Ford said...

There is nothing like a mothers love is there?
I will keep you and your mother in my paryes.
GODbless

7:06 AM  
Blogger Trista (tristaleritphoto@yahoo.com) said...

Wow Jasmine! Your mom is definately a fighter and I will definately pray for her to keep her vision and good health! You have such a beautiful family (both inside and out) and your mom is so blessed to have a great daughter like you!

12:20 PM  
Blogger Christopher Grisanti said...

Jasmine,
Thanks for sharing your intimate thoughts with us. You have an awesome family! I pray for God's healing in your mom's life. I'm sure you already treasure the time you have with your mom, but as a reminder. . .I lost my sister, my dad and my younger brother in a quick 7-year span. Every moment is precious. And just as your mom encourages you, it was my sister who was influential in directing me to follow my passion for photography.

2:35 PM  
Anonymous Tracy said...

Your mother has a beautiful heart, and you and your family are so blessed to have her!

11:26 AM  

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