Monday, March 20, 2006

Moving toward Joy

I sat in church and nervously rung my fingers. To the untrained eye, I might have appeared to be guilty and in need of repentance. In need of forgiveness.

Once the congregation was dismissed, I bolted out the front doors and dashed to my car. I searched the radio for a cool song. A song that might pump me up. Instead, it was like the scene from “Jerry Maguire”. I couldn’t find the right song, so I kind-of-sort-of mumbled along to a Pat Benatar song. Beeeecause the night belongs to lah-vers, I sang, because the night belongs us! The rest of the song found me thumbing my fingers on the steering wheel. It so could have been better.

I pulled into “The Turnip Rose” parking lot in Newport Beach and glanced lovingly at my new Tenba camera bag. JD bought me a few more lenses a few days ago and they were safely tucked away, hugged by the grey padding. I was ready to shoot my first wedding.

The peace I felt during the day was incredible. Sure, I was trepid, but in a good way. The way one might feel before a marathon. A cocktail of adrenaline, excitement, and a splash of nerves. Shaken, not stirred.

At the end of the night, I felt like I bonded with the bride, the groom and their families.

The night air was crisp as I walked out to my car after the reception. My fingers cramped as I tried opening my door. No, really, they cramped. Carrying my camera for 10 hours had an arthritic affect on my fingers. I peeled off my shoes and flung them on the passenger seat, right next to my camera bag. My feet throbbed, but I felt more pain in my knees. I rolled my pant legs over my knees and gasped when I saw that they were black and blue.

Whoa. The next time I shoot a wedding, I’ll be sure to wear knee-pads, bring Bengay for my fingers, and wear a pair of tacky Aerosoles. Sure, I might look like I’m going to a geriatrics convention, but it might be worth it. Then again, maybe not.

All this pales in comparison to my experience. I loved my day. And I have pictures to prove it.

On my drive home, I didn’t have the compulsion to sing along to a retired pop song. I didn’t need Pat Benatar; I had my thoughts to entertain my mind. I reflected on the day and was so thankful for the experience. It feels good to be moving in this direction. It feels good to move toward joy.

5 Comments:

Blogger Shyla said...

Ooh Jazzy...post pictures! I wanna see! Im so excited for you!

5:18 PM  
Blogger c r y s t a l said...

Jasmine!! First of all, I am with Shyla!! POST some pictures, girl!!!! I have yet to see any of your stuff!

Secondly, you and your sister are so stinking doubly (is that a word?) gorgeous!! I just saw TJ's pictures and watched Mark's slideshow from yesterday at the beach. So great. I wish I was there again.

Congratulations on your first wedding, girl! I am soo super excited for you. Isn't it wonderful to know you're moving in the right direction? God is so good.

Have a blessed day!

10:00 AM  
Blogger climbergal said...

Congratulations Jasmine! I've been following your story for some time since I discovered you through Mike Colon's blog. You're the reason why I love my art...my hobby so much more now. I think you are a gifted writer and that you're destined for even greater accomplishments than you have under your belt now. It's strange to say this about someone I've never met, but I suppose I feel I have a sense of you - thanks for revealing yourself in your blog. I think there are some parallels between us. I can't wait to see your photos!

9:20 AM  
Blogger Liana said...

Wowa... you've got us all eagerly waiting in anticipation to hear more!! Black and blue?? You poor thing!! I TOTALLY feel ya about the feeling-like-you-got-ran-over-then-ran-a -marathon after shooting all day! LOL @ the aerosole ... I need to get me some of those too...

But most importantly..

We want pics!!!

xoxo,
L

6:52 AM  
Blogger Jasmine said...

Wow! You all are far too kind! I'll be getting pictures up soon!

3:26 PM  

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