Wednesday, March 15, 2006

Learning to Love a Hippie

With the light from our courtyard breaking into our dark room, I stared at the ceiling. Jagged shadows crisscrossed the room and the fluorescent numbers on the clock read 2:14. Often times, it’s in the silence of night when my mind’s eye is looking for answers.

I’m the type of person who makes lists. Grocery lists. Christmas shopping lists. Things-to-do lists. I get a rush crossing off itemized entries. I feel accomplished and proactive. I love lists.

But life, like love, doesn’t fit neatly on a yellow legal pad. For so long, I’ve wanted to plan my professional life in a series of lists. What camera lenses to buy. What photography books to read. What steps I need to take to establish and differentiate myself in an ultra competitive industry. However, whenever I try to compose such a list, it ends in disarray. There are some things that can’t take written form.

It takes a lot to admit that starting my business may not fit in a traditional business plan. I graduated summa cum laude with a BA in Business Administration, so I’m a product of logic and reason. I’m not afraid of balance sheets and business plans; in fact, I love their tangible qualities. I went to law school long enough to know that rational thinking, as opposed to emotional feeling, is the best way to view things in a contractual sense.

Trying to begin my photography business, however, is a whole other universe. If the business world were a parent, then photography would be its Hippie step-child. Instead of a suit, Photography wants to wear a tie-dyed shirt, slip a flower behind her ear, and refuse to wear a bra.

Are you awake, JD skeptically asked.
Yup.
Is everything okay?
Yea, don’t worry about it. I’m fine.
[beat]
Jaz, what are you thinking about?
Photography.
Please stop worrying about it. God’s in control. Everything will happen as it’s supposed to.

And with that, I was able to flirt with sleep. As I slipped into REM, I was reassured that, yes, God was in control and everything happens as it’s supposed to.

When I awoke this morning, I remembered dreaming of dancing Hippies. Go figure. ☺

6 Comments:

Blogger Liana said...

awww...that's such a fun/cute way of thinking about it... :)

Jazzy - post some pics girl!!! Your loyal fans want images ;)

xoxo,
L

1:05 PM  
Blogger OpenSourcePhoto said...

Yea for hippies!!! :)

12:26 PM  
Anonymous j.ro said...

again, thanks for this! love it!

1:07 PM  
Anonymous Christina said...

I love this entry! I'm the girl with the star earrings in KC ;-) I have finally started leaving comments! I was reading back through your old blog (again) and I looove this entry. I went to KC wanting to meet you, and to learn more about a business I 'might' start some day in the future. Well, a business is building itself faster than I can keep up - all I need is a logo! And the times when I freak out are when I try to plan and organize and structure everything....but I'm really so much more Bohemian than logical...so this is a good reminder to go with the flow, put the flower back behind my ear, and let God do things in his time!

1:25 PM  
Blogger Betzography said...

There is no way you'll ever be able to fully understand how much this post means to me. Here it is, January 24, 2009 and I'm in tears as I read "If the business world were a parent, then photography would be its' Hippie step-child. Instead of a suit, Photography wants to wear a tie-dyed shirt, slip a flower behind her ear, and refust to wear a bra."

My first blog name years ago was under the name Bohemian Hippie. Fortunately 2 years ago God gave me the name Betzography and I use it for my photography. :)

It still humbles me when I think of how God has every little detail of our lives in his hands.

11:18 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

WOW AND i thought I was the only one that had to have lists for anything and everything! If i could show you the spreadsheets i have that i use like a bible everyday of the every list imaginable you would probably laugh lol.. Reading this blog made me smile that i knew there was a reason why i am drawn to your photos through your personality.. I found you through your newer blog but coz i'm trying to start a photography business i stumbled across your older blogs and LOVING how you went through the emotions that I am presently going through right now! lol.. YOu are inspirational.. thanks Jasmine :)

Corina Peyroux
Auckland, New Zealand :)

1:58 AM  

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